Sunday, March 15th, 2009
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3:33 pm - 2 years, 43things
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My 43Things profile turns two years old in a few days, and I thought I'd take a minute to reflect on the things I've accomplished (and managed to commit to the internet) over that time. In (kind of) chronological order and including a brief statement of my feelings about each item, followed by verbose commentary:
( At Length - 25 Things )
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3 - ♥
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Wednesday, March 11th, 2009
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1:53 am - for all the amanda palmer/dresden dolls fans
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if you haven't heard amanda palmer's new(ish) album Who Killed Amanda Palmer, now's your chance. both the unofficial and official releases. both completely amazing. get it while it's hot.
http://www.sendspace.com/file/ywvjhz
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♥
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Saturday, January 17th, 2009
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7:48 pm
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i've been letting myself slip for far too long. i haven't been holding myself accountable for anything i've been doing and i've given in to every whiny, lazy, selfish temptation that's presented itself. i've allowed myself to melt into a puddle of disinterested, unsatisfied, ineffective, unliving slime and i've dared to point to anyone or thing but myself as the cause. this has to stop. not only is it driving my quality of life into the ground, but it's affecting the people around me and i'm secretly sabotaging all my relationships.
i was reading the spirit of aikido at my friend's house the other day, and the simple idea that we can focus all of the energy we spend on hate and desire and despair and jealousy away from those things and into love really struck a chord. aside from making me want to study aikido for the rest of my life, it also gave me the hint that i, tim, have the option to rise out of this and that i have the potential to become a being that transcends all of that.
i don't want to go into too much detail about that, but the point is that i can't allow myself to get away with any of that bullshit anymore. today alone felt like an epic struggle just trying to stay afloat emotionally, but that's what happens when you're wrestling for control of yourself from other parts of you. the childish snapping will stop. the needy, clingy, attention seeking will stop. the self doubt will stop. the self-disrespect will stop. the lack of discipline will stop. it has to. i will drive into myself that my value lies in myself, my strength lies in myself, other people and their acceptance are not the source of my power. i'm going to do it. i don't promise to be graceful, but i promise to try.
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3 - ♥
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Tuesday, November 25th, 2008
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12:29 am - Beirut - Elephant Gun
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Monday, November 17th, 2008
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12:56 pm
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I'd just like to say that I am proud of and happy for all of the people on my friends list who have written happy accomplishing things posts.
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1 - ♥
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Monday, November 10th, 2008
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1:08 am
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I am going to teach my daughter to do the two claps at the end of Such Great Heights and we are going to do them together every time we hear that song until one of us dies, goddamnit.
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5 - ♥
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Thursday, November 6th, 2008
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7:33 pm
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I just read my friends page and every new entry is about how stressful and depressing life is right now for those people. Is this winter or some emotional apocalypse? Things are ridiculous for at least 8 people I know right now. Wtf?
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♥
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Monday, November 3rd, 2008
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4:48 pm
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I just got my motherfucking TAX RETURN! The world is mine for the taking!
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4 - ♥
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Thursday, October 30th, 2008
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4:38 pm
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NaNoWriMo starts in just 32 hours! Holy fucking shit! I'm gonna get my ass kicked, but it's gonna be fun!
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3 - ♥
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Friday, October 24th, 2008
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7:15 pm
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I don't really have the time (since I'm in class) or the words (since I'm Tim), but I have feelings about things.
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3 - ♥
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Saturday, October 4th, 2008
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3:46 pm
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I was talking to Symmetry last night and she told me that she needs someone(s) to hold her accountable with regards to getting shit done because procrastination is an epic level monster. As it turns out, I need the same thing and so does like, everyone ever. So then I had the idea to make an lj community for us and friends, creating a network of accountability that will be a wealth of support, advice, encouragement, praise, and tough-love ass-kickings.
So who's joining?! We'll set goals and then do them! It'll be like how society is supposed to be but isn't! Get in on this!
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9 - ♥
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Friday, August 29th, 2008
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2:27 pm
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For those who follow politics and any ardent Obama supporters, with McCain's VP pick, everyone'd better get ready for another 4 years with a Republican president.
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9 - ♥
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Saturday, August 23rd, 2008
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11:36 pm - In the event that physical health appeals to you
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10:53 pm
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I'm getting really fucking tired of people's bullshit.
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1 - ♥
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Sunday, August 10th, 2008
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10:30 pm - a conversation with sym
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8:21:23 PM Me: i don't really like myself
8:21:46 PM Me: i've been making progress on a small scale, but overall i've been going in the wrong direction
8:22:04 PM Symmetry: how so?
8:23:19 PM Me: i've made small improvements that i'm proud of like the rape crisis center and ethically, i think too. but as a whole, i've become so jaded and irritated and arrogant and insincere
8:24:07 PM Me: when people meet me and talk to me, the core tim is distorted by all these negative ways i act
8:25:01 PM Me: i find that, a lot of the time, i do and say things and i think to myself "that's not really an accurate representation of me, but i don't feel like clarifying"
8:25:23 PM Symmetry: what has jaded you?
8:25:29 PM Me: i dunno. life
8:25:33 PM Me: how hard things are
8:26:21 PM Me: i feel like i'm alone in most of my endeavors, and it's hard to persevere like that
8:26:51 PM Symmetry: what endeavors?
8:27:29 PM Me: being vegan, being politically dissident, not being an asshole, being part of a community of caring individuals who respect each other and the things around them and themselves
8:28:00 PM Me: playing music, cooking, writing
8:28:24 PM Me: being emotionally healthy
8:28:38 PM Me: the people i'm around most often have none of that in common with me
8:29:58 PM Me: i was reading through my email archives and i read all these emails from kiimara and i really wanted to talk to someone about it who wasn't involved, but the only two people i even kind of wanted to talk to don't live anywhere near me and probably wouldn't be very helpful anyway
8:30:36 PM Me: i mean, i don't want to be alone all the time. i don't like it very much. but what else can you do when you don't have options
8:31:17 PM Me: and i don't have the patience to form relationships like normal people do with all the getting to know each other over long periods of time bullshit because i need friends NOW
8:31:56 PM Me: i need friends with cars who will come over to my house and spend time with me and be around cerulean with me and enjoy my company
8:33:04 PM Me: the only person i can think of who would be willing to do that besides you is chris kennedy
8:35:35 PM Symmetry: :(
8:35:44 PM Me: pretty much
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4 - ♥
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Friday, August 8th, 2008
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2:06 pm - second only to rocking socks
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"dance" and "pants" may be the most fortunate rhyme in the english language.
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♥
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10:52 am
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baked a pretty rad vegan cake yesterday. to be honest, it could some improvement, but for my first cake ever, i am thoroughly impressed.
that is all.
also, dreams about kiimara? still?
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♥
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Wednesday, August 6th, 2008
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1:09 pm - kaki king + the mountain goats = brain hemorrhage of joy
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in significantly less heavy other news, fucking Kaki King and the fucking Mountain Goats are touring in a couple months!!! i cannot fucking miss this shit. i already missed out on seeing fucking regina spektor and ani difranco, so not seeing this too would be completely unacceptable.
they're playing a show in dc and then in philly in early november. i don't know which one to go to because i don't really like DC but the 9:30 club is an actual rock venue, whereas TLA in philly has seats and shit.
but what does all this mean for you? this means ROAD TRIP TO THE BEST SHOW EVER mother fuckers!
leave me comments telling me you're definitely going and you've already called off of work and blown off classes! it will be glorious! and plus no one ever responds when i make invitations to get driven by me all over the country to do fun things. wtf? come.
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2 - ♥
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Tuesday, August 5th, 2008
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3:35 am - RADIOHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Not only did I see a sweet fucking show tonight, I also went on a crazy adventure with my friend's sister's boyfriend, whom I'd never met until tonight, involving coat hangers and ice cream.
Dwell on that. More later.
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1 - ♥
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Monday, August 4th, 2008
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3:19 pm
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anyone have a ticket to radiohead they think i should have?
EDIT: Katie Keener and her boyfriend George are officially this year's Best People for facilitating my going to the Radiohead show tonight.
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♥
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